TMI Alert! TMI Alert! Globe spills the beans! Woods couldn’t… TMI Alert! TMI Alert!

Don’t read any further unless you have a strong stomach.  It’s definitely Too Much Information.  Back out while you still can.  I had to read it because it’s my job, but I urge you to bail out now.

At least now the Golf Channel will have to admit Woods is an old man.  From an article about the upcoming May 25 edition of GLOBE Magazine:

The May 25 edition of GLOBE Magazine reveals that the real reason Lindsey Vonn dumped Tiger Woods was because he wasn’t satisfying her in the bedroom – the fact that he is 9 years older than her seemed to play a part on that as well.

It gets worse:

A pal of Lindsey Vonn’s dished to GLOBE, “Lindsey is extremely energetic and Tiger couldn’t keep up with her. She complained that it was like going to bed with an old man.

Woods couldn’t keep up with Vonn?  Now she knows how Rory and Rickie and Jordan feel!

To be fair, Vonn’s is just one opinion.  We should wait for Golf Channel’s employees to give their takes on what it’s like to be in bed with Woods.

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16 Responses to TMI Alert! TMI Alert! Globe spills the beans! Woods couldn’t… TMI Alert! TMI Alert!

  1. Amazing says:

    Wow…just…wow. It’s bad enough that you care as much as you do about Tiger’s relationships, but now you’ve proven you give a shit about his bedroom performance too.

    • lannyh says:

      You obviously don’t know much about golf journalism. This is every bit at pertinent as his trips to watch Lindsey ski which the golf media covered in great detail. Sounds like you’re jealous of Lindsey!

    • Sports-realist2 says:

      It’s the MEDIA who has over reported Eldrick’s every move over the last number of years….Since NEGATIVE stuff is starting to show up about Eldrick, the Eldrick fans are crying, and the mainstream media doesn’t know what to do—except lie…

  2. Kris says:

    Dude’s got psychological and physical issues in that department. That was well established in 2009. I thought when you wrote about stories about Woods you were trying to prove that the mainstream golf media props him up at all costs while other media isn’t afraid to tell the truth. Quoting things from the Daily Mail and Globe and putting up clips of The View strays from that purpose. These things aren’t truth, they’re entertainment gossip. Of course the mainstream golf media would ignore it. You talk about supporting the guys from the European Tour, but they’re playing their first tournament of the year on European soil and you’re completely ignoring it. If you want to turn this into a Tiger Woods hate site, that’s fine, but you’re driving people away with posts like this.

    • Sports-realist2 says:

      I think that’s a bit over dramatic….Since the mainstream media does the ‘clip’ reporting as one of their main assets, everyone else has the right to do it from time to time too…..
      Lanny is pointing out how the golf media tried to MAKE Eldrick into some SUDDEN ‘father of the year’ candidate, simply because he had a hot blonde(or f-buddy)……Now the media is forced to IGNORE this story, and fall back on something else….The problem for that media is his golf game is just average, so now they have to go to past stuff, like reshowing the 2000 US Open the other day, to SIMPLY keep his face on their headline…..
      The spin by the golf channel has 99% of the time been positive for Eldrick, while not being afraid to be negative for the other tour players(talking about their drug use, affairs, ect), but referring to Eldrick’s 2009 thing as just a ‘car accident’….

      • lannyh says:

        “Lanny is pointing out how the golf media tried to MAKE Eldrick into some SUDDEN ‘father of the year’ candidate, simply because he had a hot blonde(or f-buddy)……Now the media is forced to IGNORE this story, and fall back on something else”

        Exactly! Well put. They are “forced to ignore this story.”

    • lannyh says:

      What is this, National Bash Lanny Day?

      A few things:

      My work here is not paint-by-numbers sports reporting. It’s not even mere journalism (and I used that word in its most-exalted sense). No, what I do is art, and that puts a burden on readers, a burden for which I will not apologize. Jonathan Swift, when he wrote “A Modest Proposal,” was not really advocating that children be eaten. As for driving people away, the day that becomes a concern of mine is the day this website ceases to exist.

      The View and The Globe discussing the personal lives of Woods and Vonn is an appropriate topic for The Only Golf Website That Matters because it shows “how much Woods moves the needle.” Do you think The View discussed Fowler’s win at Sawgrass or Rory’s at Harding Park? So, we have a topic that transcends the insular world of golf, and yet the mainstream golf media is not even reporting it. We’ve been told over and over again that “Woods moves the needle.” We’ve recently been told that Woods will get most of the media attention even should Rory win five majors in a row. Clearly what Woods does is important and should be covered in great detail.

      Or does Woods fall under some kind of Kim Jong-il umbrella where we are only allowed to cover things which pump up his public image?

      • Kris says:

        I see your point. Tiger being talked about in entertainment shows and tabloids proves what a universally-hated freak show he is. Ever since Brandel’s F for cheating fiasco the US golf media has been loathe to write a negative word about Tiger. Toothgate was the best example of the US golf media supporting him and everyone else thinking he was an absolute nutcase.

        However, in the spirit of Bash Lanny Day, I think you’re barking up the wrong tree. When the golf channel reported on positive things about Tiger they were based in truth. He really was hanging out with his kids at the masters and writing a letter to a stuttering boy. The letter was forced garbage and his kids obviously don’t like him, but they were reporting on provable happenings. They reported on the scandal the first time because it was unavoidable truth. This round of cheating rumors surrounding the breakup are unprovable gossip. Would the US golf media earn your respect by reporting on this? It wouldn’t earn mine.

      • lannyh says:

        Well, it’s provable fact that he made an Accenture commercial using his young daughter as a prop — while he was in the midst of the biggest sex scandal in sports history. So does it make sense for the golf media to write “smiling Lindsey hugging Tiger’s adorable children” or “Like many other golfers, Woods’s kids caddied for him.” Or how about, “With Woods’s past history — his ex-wife Elin complained about it — of using his kids as PR props, we are going to report this with a grain of salt.” Or just show two or three photos like with the other golfers’ kids.

        You know that how something is reported is important. If I say, “Joe said blah blah,” that’s quite different than, “Joe confirmed blah blah,” or “Joe claimed blah blah.”

        The media was all over the “provable fact” that Hank Haney said he saw all four or five of Woods’s treatments by Galea. Provable fact that he SAID it, but that’s not how they reported it. For them, it was case closed. Then, of course, Blood Sport came out and we found out with REAL provable facts that the Haney claims were far from the real truth. There were at least ten other Galea visits Haney knew nothing about.

        And don’t forget DJ. I did a piece once about the contrast in how Woods and DJ’s sabbaticals were covered by the golf media: self-imposed vs “self-imposed.” Skeptical quote marks for DJ.

  3. HennyB says:

    Check out the most recent Woods propaganda story at Apparently the Tiger we see week after week acting like a moron, isn’t the “real Tiger”.
    P.S. Don’t forget your barf bag!

  4. Speedy says:

    The rotten apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Is author Siebold TW’s houseboy?

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