Semi Live Blog, Saturday: Dinah Shore, Houston Open, and Tiger “R” Us (running post)

7:15 pm Final Update

Really nice 60-second Q&A with Rory from Irish Examiner.  Names his best friends on Tour (one was Justin Thomas, which I found interesting) and the player he’d play money to see play.

The Dinah Shore is getting intense and it’s just Saturday.  Sei Young Kim and Stacey Lewis are tied, with Lincicome, Lexi, and Pressel in hot pursuit.

One quick comment about the NCAA basketball.  I saw a chart today that showed the highest-rated championship game was in 1979, with Indiana State squaring off against Michigan State.  Yeah, you know who the star players were in that one.  In fact, all the highest-rated games were from at least 20 years ago.  I guess my point is that I’d way rather watch Stacey Lewis and Sei Young Kim at the Dinah Shore than I would today’s version of NCAA March Madness.  Nothing against the game today, but back then, we filled out brackets by hand, and we had Magic vs. Bird.  Last year’s championship game drew half the ratings the game used to regularly get.  Yeah, that’s right.  Half.  Despite all the hype and 24/7 sports talk — or perhaps because of it — March Madness does not permeate the nation’s consciousness the way it once did.

6:15 pm Update

Looking good for Jordan Spieth, who leads by one.  I’ve got quite a few tidbits about Spieth I think I’ll serve up with Sunday brunch tomorrow morning.  Looks like if he wins this thing, he moves to world number two.  If Spieth doesn’t get the W, I’m for Austin Cook big-time among his pursuers.

Most of my rooting interests have fallen by the wayside in the LPGA Dinah Shore, but at least Stacey Lewis is hanging tough.  Lexi not too far back.  Sei Young Kim seems pretty impressive at age 22.

4:55 pm Update

A new header!  Haha, I won’t leave it long.  There’s surely a problem with using such an image without permission.  But I’ll leave it a day or two.

4:40 pm Update

Johnny Miller and Dan Hicks go into their Tiger speech.  He made golf cool, they tell us, then they blah blah blah about him playing the Masters.  Totally idiotic and unnecessary, but give them credit for waiting a long time and getting it over quickly.

3:40 pm Update

Austin Cook is livening up the proceedings today.  I’d love to see that guy win.  Spieth is climbing and sits only two back — and just hit one close.  Very makeable putt coming up.  Makes it!  Sits one off lead.  Long way to go, yet.  Jordan needs to bear down and finish solid.  He’s faded a few Saturdays on the back nine, hurting his Sunday chances.  I’d love to see the winner be Spieth or Cook.  Reed making a mini-run, but two front-nine bogeys offset his hole in one.  He sits five back.  Needs a strong finish today to really in the hunt tomorrow.

1:20 pm Update

Patrick Reed with the ace!!  Picks up two strokes on field.  He and caddy run maniacally to the green for some reason, across a long wooden footbridge, too.  He went back and looked at area under bridge.  Did he drop something?  That was weird.

1:05 pm Update

Mickelson and Cook are both in the bunker off of first tee.  It looks like their balls came to rest where each will have to stand on the other guy’s ball in order to hit.  Maybe not, but it’s close.

8:45 am : Geoff Shackelford on Morning Drive

“Huge win for Rory McIlroy, Jordan Spieth…”  You know the meme by now: By not giving Rory his deserved coverage, it helps Rory… Giving Woods undeserved attention is a “win” for those who will not get their deserved attention.

That is the most bullshit narrative I’ve ever heard.

8:40 am : Shane Bacon on Moose and Maggie

I praised Bacon just yesterday for saying he hoped Woods didn’t play and that Woods distracted attention from the deserving participants.  On Moose and Maggie this morning, Bacon was all about how “good for the game” Tiger is.  Nothing about how he had been hoping Woods wouldn’t play.  After Bacon’s segment, Moose told listeners that Woods used to be the “odds-on” favorite every year at the Masters, thereby showing he is as clueless as the next sports “analyst.”

8:07 am : Gary Williams

“We cannot talk about him enough.”  Williams said this after going through the standard Woods bullshit: made golf cool; face of golf; attracts kids.  He somehow forgot to mention that participation rates are down since Woods gained fame.  Yeah, doesn’t fit with your false narrative.  Oops.

This does not bode well for anyone wanting quality Masters Week coverage from Golf Channel.  This is exactly why the USA Today writer last week wrote that “Tiger Woods is no longer good for golf.”

7:45 am : Rex Hoggard, Lying Through His Teeth.

Rex Hoggard pushes the idea that other golfers are “elated” that Woods is playing because it “takes the pressure off of them.”  Okay, that is total bullshit.  For one thing, Tour players receive compensation from their logo sponsors for the amount of time they are on television.  It’s measured.  Very precisely.  The golf media’s ridiculous coverage of Woods actually takes money out of the pockets of the deserving players.

Now, consider Rory.  He may never win another major in his life, you never know; this could be the biggest moment of his career.  Having two majors in a row heading into Augusta should be a bigger story than California Chrome going for the Triple Crown last year.  But the golf media tells us a broken-down, freak-show nag running in the Belmont Stakes deserves the majority of the attention, and its entry “takes the pressure off of California Chrome.”  The Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner should be “elated” that he won’t get the media attention he deserves as he goes for the Triple Crown.

7:15 am : Morning Drive Tiger Circle Jerk

The open is about nothing but Woods.

Gary Williams: “When you get a story like this, it’s enormous.”  He says that to explain why he is skipping the LPGA’s major taking place this week.

Damon: “Do you believe that he believes he can win?”  John Cook: “There’s no doubt about it.”

In case you were wondering, this is another “comeback.” Must be what, the 20th?  They keep using that term.

Woods’s decision to play shows Damon Hack Tiger is “all in.”  (Whatever the hell that means.)

They show a 30-second fist-pumping montage.  It’s fifteen after, and they’ve yet to discuss anything other than Woods.

Hack says his expectations are “extremely low.”  Gee, so if Woods finishes T-40, you can gush about how great he played.  I can give you one guarantee: Whatever Woods shoots, good, bad, horrid, mediocre, fair, whatever… it will be considered “the story of the tournament” to the fools on Morning Drive.

6:00 am : Tiger, Greatest of All Time

Our crack research team, in conjunction with the American golf media, has come up with the ultimate statistic to show just how superior a golfer Tiger Woods is to Jack Nicklaus.

  • Jack Nicklaus wins a major every 1526 days of his life.
  • Tiger Woods wins a major every 1022 days of his life.

Sorry, Jack, it’s not even close.  There has never before been a majors-winning machine like Tiger Woods, and there never will be again.

[Note to Karen Crouse of the New York Times: Feel free to use this stat in your next piece.]

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13 Responses to Semi Live Blog, Saturday: Dinah Shore, Houston Open, and Tiger “R” Us (running post)

  1. wowowow you really hate Tiger. What did he ever do to you? not give you an interview? Not look in your direction at a tournament? Root for Rory all you want. He is becoming Tiger in attitude etc. It goes to their head. Watch it, your hero is catching it. (especially the club throwing technique)

  2. JoseyWales says:

    Here is Shackelford’s latest: so creative and original :o)
    “Instant Poll: How Will Tiger Will Perform At The 2015 Masters?: “

  3. Sports-realist says:

    We know what to expect from coverage, REGARDLESS, we’ve seen it enough…. I will watch little live coverage and probably just check a scoreboard at the end of the day…..I’ve done it enough times, as I don’t care to see Eldricks azz as he walks down the fairway for 100 yards after each shot that goes into the trees…..It’s not interesting to hear the SAME ‘comeback’ excuses, we’ve heard and heard and heard, about time, injury, and motivation, when the reality of Steroids, age, and diminishing skills is his reality…….Again once FORTY rolls around, there is NO way won’t start using that as an excuse, but for some reason are holding out calling him an older pro at 39 and a half……….lol

    • lannyh says:

      How do they NOT cover, cover, cover the story of a guy going for his third major in a row? Are they afraid it detracts from the Woods narrative? I guarantee you this: If Rory doesn’t win, they’ll say, “That shows how hard it is to do what Tiger did.” Man, their BS gets old. I can’t wait for Fox Sports to cover the U.S. Open. I truly think that will be a game-changer. No way the mainstream golf media can shut up Greg Norman.

      • Sports-realist says:

        It will be interesting if Norman has been coached on what to say, or if they truly just let him talk……The golf channel has a 5 step program that gets you addicted to Eldrick coverage…Johnny Miller would say things, then it seemed like weeks later, he’d been taken in the back room and beaten up…Then you’d hear him singing the praises, so the behind the scenes is probably more rigged than even we think it has become…

      • lannyh says:

        There can be no doubt this morning’s little speech by Gary Williams was pre-planned. You don’t say, “We cannot talk about him too much” unless you are on the defensive for talking about him too much. I sent my No Rory logo from yesterday to both Williams and Hack with the remark, “I really like the Golf Channel’s new logo.”

  4. Sports-realist says:

    Well when you are ranked out of the top100 in the world, you NOW become even more interesting…Just wait till Woods is ranked out of the top 1000, then it will be 24/7…….The golf channel is reminding me more of that Monty Python sketch where the knight gets his arm cut off, and he says ‘its but a scratch’, then he gets his other arm off and he says ‘I’m invincible’….

    • lannyh says:

      Yup. It’s like we are all Tiger’s mommy, and we don’t care about those other mean boys on Tour, just Tiger. Who cares who wins the Masters, even if the winner has three of four Masters, or three majors in a row. No, we’re all interested in “how Tiger chips.” That’s the Top Story.

      • Sports-realist says:

        yeah cuz if Mickelson wins he’d equal Woods Masters win total at 4….If Bubba wins that would be 3 in 4 years, which EXCEEDS the best streak at the Masters by Woods(who won 3 in 5 years), ofcourse if Rory wins, he THEN goes for the Rory Slam and has done what only very few have done on the PGA, but you are right, watching chipping is really exciting, especially by old fat ladies, or so Bill Murray thinks so…

  5. BigTimeTimmyJim says:

    I don’t want to play the “USA” card but I can’t help but find myself rooting for Spieth more than Rory. I really do like Rory but if they were paired up in a final round, I feel like Jordan would be my guy. Actually I think it has something to do with the fact that Jordan seems to be a more consistent putter and is not as likely to make the big number.

    • lannyh says:

      I’m going to look up the numbers in a little while, but it seems to me, Spieth is far and away the best putter among the contending players. There may be a better putter among the guys who have to be to make up for shortcomings in their ball-striking, but among the contenders, it seems to me Jordan has a good putting day every day.
      In a major, right now, I’d be for Rory. But after Rory gets to 18, I’d be as likely to be for Spieth. They both seem to be great guys. I like Rory’s story of his parents being of modest means and working multiple jobs to help him as a young golfer. No job as a “talent scout” from IMG for Rory’s dad, if you know what I mean…

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