UVrApe

If you haven’t read this Rolling Stone piece yet, now’s a good time to do it.  If you have daughters in college or nearing college age, it is mandatory.  I would like to see some of the PGA Tour pros who attended the University of Virginia speak out on the matter.  It’s appalling that the university would sweep sexual assaults under the rug.  They acted only after they got wind of the Rolling Stone article.

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Deadspin Shows Jenkins How It’s Done

Must reading.  Shackelford had a link and warned “not for the faint of heart.”

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Tiger Tap

I wasn’t going to write about the Dan Jenkins faux interview with Tiger Woods, but several people have asked about it, so here’s my two cents.

Remember the movie Spinal Tap?  It’s a mocumentary about about the decline of a once-big rock band.  “It goes to eleven.”

As the band declines, the manager struggles to find bookings.  Eventually, he signs a deal for them to open for a puppet show at an amusement park.  At this point, there is no denying it: the band is a has-been.

That’s where we are with Woods, although the golf media is in denial and continues trying to convince us the puppet show is Carnegie Hall.

But does that still work?  I don’t think so.  Do you know anyone who truly believes Woods remains a big deal in golf?  Frankly, to me, he’s no longer even interesting as a freak show.  I skip the “Tiger Says…” and “Is Tiger…” and “Can Tiger…” and all the other bullcrap non-articles and never look back.  Unless you get your jollies from the junior high comment sections (“Tiger sucks.”  “No, YOU suck.”), what’s the point?

This is probably the most bizarre prediction I’ve ever made, but I don’t think the golf media will be able to do “Only Tiger Matters” in 2015.  Woods is not last year’s model: he’s last decade’s model.  Rory is the story, and Woods is not even a paragraph.

Woods has now gone as long without a major as Jack did between his 17th and his 18th.  Physically, Woods is a wreck.  His image is in even worse shape; he’s a walking punchline.  Most observers of the game continue to wait for the coup de grace: further revelations about Galea or Biogenesis.

And the game has moved on.  Rory McIlroy has won four major — four! — since Woods’s last major.  Martin Kaymer has won two.  Think about how long it’s been since Kaymer won the playoff with Bubba at Whistling Straits, the year DJ grounded his club in the “bunker.”  Speaking of Bubba, Bubba has two majors himself since Woods last won one.  I believe there are a couple of other multiple major winners in that time frame.  There have been so many, I can’t even remember them all!  The game has moved on.

I’m watching Rory play in Dubai as I type this, but my focus is much more on football this, and every, autumn.  I check the golf results on Monday, and that’s about it.

Woods has a puppet show coming up soon.  I’m not sure if it’s the Chevron thing or the “two-man South American Ryder Cup.”  Whatever the case, Woods has a silly season event he is trying to publicize, and, well, people just aren’t lining up to buy Tiger Tap tickets like they used to.  Fuse Science and MusclePharm have replaced AT&T and Accenture and Gillette and Gatorade.  Woods’s reaction was an obvious publicity ploy, an attempt to morph his current image from “injured old guy” to, I don’t know, “grouchy old guy”?  “Whiney old guy”?  Jenkins turns 85 soon.  Maybe Woods thinks a public battle with an octogenerian would make him look youthful in contrast.

As for the actual Jenkins piece, I found it tame.  Jenkins’ piece about Woods after the 2009 scandal was devastating (“graveyard dead”); this new one was recycled schtick I, or any of my readers, could have produced.

Why did Jenkins even write this, I wondered.  My theory is that Jenkins wrote this as a proxy for all the things he can’t write about.  Jenkins knows that Woods and Galea and Haney all made statements indicating that Woods was visited by Dr. Galea “only” four or five times.  We found out last year that there are at least 14 documented visits from Galea.  Dan knows this, but Golf Digest isn’t going to let him write about it.  Dan knows about the Biogenesis reports.

(We interrupt this piece to announce Shane Lowry, playing alongside Rory at Dubai, just aced the fourteenth hole.)

He knows about Finchem’s secrecy regarding drug policy violations, and all the other things regular people know.  But Dan also has access to the rumor mill, and I’m betting the things Dan could tell us about Woods would shock even the most cynical among us.

I think Chamblee’s “F” last year and Jenkin’s “fake interview” this year are mere proxies for what they would really love to tell us.  They don’t fear Woods because Woods would not dare take them to court.  After all, testifying under oath is what brought down Lance Armstrong.

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A-Rod Admitted Buying Drugs From Biogenesis, the Lab Reportedly Linked to Tiger Woods

Here’s the link to the article about A-Rod’s admission.

If you’ve forgotten, here’s the link to the Terez Owens article linking Tiger Woods to Biogenesis.

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Coming Attractions

I plan to post a new piece soon.  It will be called “The Rickie Fowler Story, or This Isn’t An Article And I Am Not Looking For A Job.”  The title will make sense when you read the piece.

Until then, go read this article at Geoff Shackelford’s website.  Be sure to read all 80 comments.

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Golf Digest’s Website is an Unreadable Jumble of Tripe

A month ago, I got the idea to do Golf Website Awards for 2014. I envisioned things like “Most GIF-Tastic” going to Kyle Porter at CBS (because, to borrow from Joe Biden, Kyle Porter articles consist of a noun, a verb, and five animated GIFs). I also planned a “Biggest Tiger Lackey” award going to… well, that one would have a lot of competition, wouldn’t it?

I  thought I’d even include a serious category for the best golf websites, where I’d mention Shackelford’s website along with a couple of others. Looking for those couple of others, I first looked at GolfDigest.com. Their website was such a frustrating mess, I had no desire to travel any farther into the golf coverage wasteland and, in fact, soon lost interest in the project entirely.

I had jotted down a few notes that morning, but I never bothered to return to them until now. Here they are, in their raw form:

Golf Digest. What a mess. Unusable. The first screen of the homepage is comprised of a huge banner ad. Below that is a huge masthead. Below that is a gigantic graphic display, which scrolls horizontally every five seconds. Scroll down and you get a huge advertisement taking up the right-hand 1/3 of your screen. Scroll down a little more and — voila! — a drop down ad descends from above, further obscuring the screen. A Golf Digest subscription ad, the fourth such ad you encounter just at the top part of the homepage.

Is there any content whatsoever on this page? After all, the homepage is 23-screens long. Why, yes, there is content. To the left of the advertisements, and beneath the drop-down ad at the top, we spy a grand total of three stories we could click on.

Dude goes nuts, snaps all his clubs in golf course parking lot” — Oh, America’s funniest faked home videos. Yeah, that is great stuff.

Other articles: Music’s Top 100 Golfers

A suit designed for bigger-bodied dudes Huh? This “article” was apparently a J Crew ad, even including a link to their clothing website.

I found the website layout a visual and logical mess, and the content was largely idiotic nonsense or advertisements presented as news.

The thing is, believe it or not, I’ve read good articles at GolfDigest.com in the past; however, I now realize those were arrived at via a Google News search. Another realization: I often cut and pasted those articles into a text document, to escape the distracting “motion” on the actual Golf Digest webpage.

It’s now been a month since I jotted down those notes, so let me take a quick look at what the website looks like right now…

Okay, visually it’s just as bad as before. Actually, it’s even worse. Today, in addition to all the prior garbage, there is a popup ad for a contest, as well as a prominently-placed animated GIF which loops every three seconds.

Bottom Line: There is no redeeming factor whatsoever at the GolfDigest.com website. If you stumble upon an interesting Golf Digest article via Google News, I recommend you cut and paste the body of the article into Word, so you can read it without distraction. (Or read the Google cached version if one is available.)

Unless you want to give yourself eye strain while lowering your golf IQ by 20 points, stay as far away from Golf Digest’s website as possible.

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Shackelford

If you’re not reading Geoff Shackelford’s golf blog, you should be.  I took a quick glance tonight and found a clever parody of a meeting of the Ryder Cup task force thingy they just announced.  (Sorry, folks, but if there is anything I care less about in golf than the Ryder Cup I don’t know what it is.  Give it a rest, already, how bout it?)

That was an amusing bit, but what makes Shackelford special is his willingness to ruffle feathers in his pursuit of the truth.  In just the most recent six or eight entries, there was a piece highly critical of Tim Finchem, and another that took a nice, and well-deserved, shot at a remark of Johnny Miller’s.

I might start posting comments at Shackelford’s website next year, I don’t know.  The only thing preventing me from doing so is I like to criticize and stir the pot and have some rowdy, lowbrow fun at times, and his website strikes me as above that kind of thing.  It’s too classy (I’ve mentioned before that his commenters are astute and logical and well-spoken [well-written?]) and — I have to say this — too important.  Shackelford cares about golf and has strong opinions that aren’t swayed by the madness of crowds.  He has a good thing going, and I don’t want to sully it.

I really, really need to finish my review of his book, “The Future of Golf.”  There is truth on every page of that book, and seldom is it truth popular within the golf industry.  I’d promise to finish soon, but, quite honestly, I don’t much feel like writing about golf (or anything else) right now.  It took great discipline just to tap this out.

(I wrote a “review” of the Golf Digest website a while back, but I lack the impetus to tidy it up and post it.  Maybe I’ll force myself to spend five minutes cleaning it up and post it.  I also have a pretty good article — okay, a DAMN good one — written about Lucy Li and Tiger Woods and “athleticism” in golf.  Unfortunately, it’s written in my head, not on paper.)

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